Virgins Go Pop

It Takes Two

2009-04-06T19:58:16+02:00

Not that I'm complaining but when I was awoken by the sound of the hoover this morning (extrodinary, since I live with two guys who have yet to show signs they know what a hoover does) I went out to investigate and saw them hoovering together.

Because that's how many men it takes to hoover the living room; one to push it around and the other to follow him around, holding the cord.

The look of pride on their faces though, bless their hearts.

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Nicotine Patches

2009-04-05T17:49:07+02:00

I'm 23 now and have been smoking since I was (maybe) 14. I've tried to give up before using gum or the inhalator, once I even boldly tried it cold turkey; needless to say I failed miserably every time, turning into a raging bitch before binge smoking myself into sickness.

This time I was pretty serious about not being the smoker anymore; I want better skin, more money and less of that embarrassing feeling I get from having to leave a table after a main course for a cigarette before dessert.

The last reason is particularly important this time as I am attending a message board meet up in London and I didn't want to be The Smoker. That would just make me look like a loser infront of my internet friends, a devastating thing.

I started by attending a meeting with the smoking counsellor at my surgery; first, I had to have the daunting, um, carbon monoxide measuring apparatus test. So I blew into this cardboard tube thing that made a noise like a kazoo, had a good giggle about the kazoo noise, and waited for the "scare me straight" results. The reading said I had 3% less oxygen in my blood than I needed! And some other reading said I had 18 carbon monoxide in my system!

I was sorely disappointed, "Well, that's not that bad, is it?" and the counsellor was all, "...Not really."

This didn't deter me, I said I'd like to try patches, because they are 24 hours of nicotine at a time, and it's waking up without the nicotine that really freaks me out and makes me run to the shops.

I'm now 3 days clean! I never thought I could get this far, I always said to myself that if I managed 3 days then I knew that I could quit for good.

I really am the type of smoker who gets terrified and furious without cigarettes, other forms of NRT just made me think "I'd rather have a cigarette" but this time the patches have eliminated the fear and my determination has done the rest. I feel really happy. I think this also has something to do with the high dosage on I'm on (21mg) making me quite hyperactive (and giving me some insane and intense dreams, by the way; Lewis Carroll couldn't even compete) but either way, I feel really pumped.

And smug. Totally smug.

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Hear Me Roar

2009-03-30T19:33:01+02:00

After weeks of asking politely I thoroughly lost my temper and wrote an angry letter to my housemate. In short my main complaints are:

I'm tired of scrubbing cat poo and wee off the carpet. Not my cat, not my problem. Someone has to do it, though.
Good God, be a grown up and just clean up after yourself as you go. Today I opened the microwave to be hit by this powerful stink. To my horror there was a plate festering with mould. Jesus.
Stop stealing my stuff. Just stop. I hate you.

Of course my letter was more puffed out (I think eventually I rambled for four entire pages, feel the rage) and ended with a typical kind of snivelling whiney vibe.

He's been avoiding me for days now, I didn't think I was so mad intimidating, clearly I'm badass.

Also, I started my week with a cervical cancer screening examination at 8am. Surely from here the only way is up!

-A.

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