Call centres are funny places filled with funny people who take calls from funny not 'haha' funny people every day. But fuck me, are they mundane places to work.

So when you get that sudden rock of the boat, it really makes your day.

The first instance of this type of occurence was during my training at Tesco when the fire alarm went off; everyone just carried on for a bit until the management started to get up and clap us and herd us out. In the middle of my call, buzzed to the gills, I said to the lady 'I have to go! There's a fire!' It was all so dramatic and fun. My friend there told her customer she had to vacate the building because of the fire alarm and he actually said "What about my chicken livers?" Which is something I think I'll remember forever like some sort of buddhist question with no answer all about selfishness or something.
We all got to stand outside in the sun for about half an hour, and there was this wild electricity around everyone, they were trying to look like they didn't care, but there was this feeling everyone was secretely thrilled and excited. I loved it, I could have bathed in that feeling forever.

Anyway, something happened again today. Me and my closest compadres work the Store Reception part of the centre, it's all transfrs to departments, message passing, product searching - it's pointless. Anyway, we have to log every pointless call on a system called Pinpoint (PinPOINTLESS yeeaaah, high five). This system has all the information we need to do what we do, all the extensions, store information, product info, EVERYTHING.

Well, about 6 this evening Pinpoint went down. One by one us store reception types stood up, eyes glazed, looking around, headsets hung round our necks. It was like in a film where we'd all been brainwashed, as if scientology kicked in and we were rising zombie-like to our master. Then people started gesturing, like in silent movies, real over the top; one hand on hip, other hand balled into a fist, throwing a downward punch 'darn!' the subtitle would have been. Then the gestures were shrugging enthusiastically, hands outwards, 'oh no!' subtitle, palm glides to screen, 'it's...broken!'.

All hell broke loose, it was awesome. Everyone was running around like chicken little, 'The system's broken! The system's broken!' 'Quick! Activity code NOT READY 23!! Quickly!' 'No keep taking calls! Just guess the common extensions and put them through!' 'How will we log the calls HOW WILL WE LOG THE CALLS!'

Bloody brilliant. Eventually they had me answering the phone saying "Good evening Tesco customer service Amy speaking how can I help...our system's broken please call back later." What a gip! Then we had to log all this useless information by writing IN PEN ... ON PAPER (they rocked us back to the dark ages man, it was whack) and it was all just fantastic stuff, I couldn't stop grinning.

I like chaos like that, the minor chaos. I like seeing everyone running blind and wild.

My shift ended about 30 minutes after that, so luckily I didn't have to put up with it for too long, before it became mundane too.

I rode my bike home in the rain so fast and excited, through every puddle, I accidently ran over a snail. I was totally wired from the breakdown.

~~~~~~

On another work related note I have a disciplinary meeting on Friday about my absences *bites nails*. I asked for a union rep to represent me, like I was saying "I ain't sayin' nuttin' more without my lawyer present," I have been sck a lot lately. Ain't my fault.

Being trained on Grocery Home Shopping starting a week tomorrow, exciting!

Also, my team leader (how dorky) left me a note saying how I was the only one the have all green stats that week. You know why? Cause I hate talking to people, I get them on and off the phone ASAP. As such my productivity is high and my call times are short as fuck.

~~~~~~

I never said we got rabbits - we got rabbits! Photo blog coming up.

Also: review of Snuff - Chuck Palahniuk

Keep reading...start reading.

AMII
xoxoxoxox

More of bike riding right here. I was wheeling my way home from work and to avoid bumping a curb I turned to ride up a slump of grass when BASH! I just flew right over the handle bars, landed on the side of my face, hurting my kneck,my feet caught between the wheel and the bars. I was just lying there unable to move for like two minutes. I thought I'd broken my kneck...and no one stopped to help. People looked, laughed, beeped horns. It's another example of how terribly wrong and frightening the general public are.

I entitled this Falling Down for two reasons:
Uno - I fell off my bike
Dos - A reference to the Micheal Douglas movie of the same name, in which he loses his mind.

The call centre =, the customers, are all driving me mad. I am so angry at how rude people are. I got called a 'fucking whore' the other day. This member of staff was calling his manager to complain about his pay or some shit, so I tried transferring him, I tried every extension, and no one answered (this is very common) so the script goes like this -

Wanker: So what are you gonna do then?
Me: Excuse me?
Wanker: How are you going to get me through to the store?
Me: I can't, you'll have to call back later.
(EXAGERATED SIGH)
Wanker: You're bloody useless you lot are, why can't I just ring straight through to the store?
Me: You just can't, it always comes through us so we can take the heat off the store for problems we're able to solve from here, so they don't have to take as many calls from customers.
Wanker: I'm staff
Me: I know
Wanker: Give me the direct number then
Me: There isn't one
Wanker: Bloody ridiculous
Me: I don't like the way you're speaking to me
Wanker: WHAT?
Me: You're being very rude to me, I don't like it
Wanker: I'm not being rude, I just want to get through
Me: I'm sorry, even if you called a direct line, no one would alswer
Wanker: Well, I didn't mean to sound rude I'm just frustrated
Me: That's ok, I'm sorry, I'd be frustrated too
Wanker: ...OK I'll call back, bye then
Me: Bye
(as hanging up)
Wanker: Stupid fucking whore

I could have killed. I have people talking to me like this ALL DAY. I take around 160 calls a day, and about 10 per day are delightful normal people. That's a disgusting amount of horrid people in this horrid country.

I have always wanted to move to Japan. And so, another reolution, I am going to start Japanese lessons ASAP. I found a place to learn them, just have to start. Going to start njext month, become Japenese/English translator for Nintendo and play videogames all day and hang out with Haruki Murakami and Miike Takashi.

Still not much writing going on that I don't delete straight away, still no word from my best friend in China, getting really worried about him now.

Today I shall write, in the sun! Outside!

Oh yeah, I'm off work by the way, on holidays, yayayayayaaaay!

Amii
xx

Hello readers,

No subscribers? How sad.

I returned to work to recieve immense support from my managers and the business team. They want to ensure I'm happy, like the rest of the staff. Tesco may be taking over the world right now, but perhaps that isn't such a bad thing, since they seem to have the right idea about how to treat people.

At my job we recieve weekly stats; these stats show our call productivity, the quality of the calls, and the times it takes us to resolve problems. Mine were fantastic, I'm proud. For the first time in my working life I feel proud of how I'm performing at my job. My team leader even wrote me a fucking thank you note - I thought this sort of thing was unheard of.

Customers and the general public are still sociopathtic bastards. I'm having to terminate a few calls now due to the abuse, which sucks.

In other Amii news my daddy bought me a bicycle! He wouldn't let me have the rad pink and silver one I wanted, but I got a great bike that I haven't stopped riding since I got it. I ride it to town, all the way down the Taff trail, by the river, to work, and I love it.

I was having a pleasent ride in Llandaff the first day I got it, glowing with glee and riding fast so the wind felt awesome, when all of a sudden this car screeched next to me with four guys in it and yelled out. I braked, smiled, and asked what they wanted. I couldn't understand what they were saying to me, at first I thought they were asking me a question, but they all kept laughing and laughing and saying more stuff that sounded pretty insulting. Then one of them threw a can out of the window at me and they sped off.

I wheeled home all slow then, it totally ruined my day.

The next day I took the bike through Bute Park and nearly ran over a squirrel. I broke hard and the squirrel just stood right in front of me staring, standing straight up the way they do all cute, and didn't move for like a minute before running off. It was so weird! I hope that squirrel is doing ok now; I felt we somehow connected at that moment, like both of us were just staring at eachother thinking 'Shit man, that was close, mind out'.

I've been finding drug baggies all over the floor, some at work and some on the way to work. One had a silhouette of a sexy lady in a provocative position on it and the other simply a marijuana leaf printed on it. I thought it was odd to see two in the same week. I also found a really, really old car key for a foriegn vehicle in the grass when I stopped to sit on a log during a bike ride. I felt compelled to keep it and I've decided I'm going to start collecting these things because there's something so fascinating about them. I can't work out what though.

The earthquake in China has terrified me; I've started getting that apocalypse feeling again. My best friend is in China right now and I can't get in touch with him. He hasn't been online in aes anyway, but I'm still very scared. I cried this morning at the thought he might be in trouble and I'm desperate for him to get in touch and just tell me he's ok. I'm devastated so many thousands of people are dead. Being naive I think that every time there's a natural disaster it's the last one that'll ever happen, but another one has happened and it scares me.

Even more worrying the news is reporting more about the Sex and the City premiere, fucks sake. I'm excited about the movie but come on BBC, put shit in perspective.

Fair play to the guy that poked a great white shark in the eye during an attack though, that's awesome. I wish I could say I fought off a shark, I'd be the coolest person I know then.

My writing has hit a serious slump. I have a book plan, but I can't get my first page right. I can't decide what tense to write in, should it be first person or third person?

I crave writing. I want it burst out like it used to, even when it was complete crap, but it isn't hapening. I feel self conscious about everything I write, as if I'm judging myself every word, as if if I write a bad sentence I'm a terrible person who will never succeed.

Lately I considered giving up, quitting telling people I'm a writer. I just can't do that though.

Now this is going to sound pretentious: I feel ike I have to be a writer. Ages ago I said his, I said it was like a calling, a vocation, like a priest or other religious leader has. Then later I read Paul Auster say the exact same thing. How can this sort of thing not confirm that I am a Paul Auster at heart? That writing is what I am simply meant to do? No matter how much of a struggle it is with my severe lack of self confidence I can't get the feeling out of my bones that I should be writing all the damn time. It's the only way I'm ever going to be happy and I know that.

If only I could start writing this book I have planned...and then keep writing. And write poetry and articles and, well, blogs. But I want to write them well. I know this isn't well written, it probably isn't even interesting, but I don't want to stop writing it, I just want to carry on writing.

I don't know whether creative writing courses at university will help. My brief experience with the course was merely depressing. Old lecturers with daft sounding novels that sell badly telling us not to bother trying to write a great novel when we're young because we need life experience. What has life experience done for them? They still aren't writing to a successful standard, and they are bitter.

One even told us, 'Young writers burn out; you don't want to be a one hit wonder, like Jack Kerouac or Harper Lee' - what writer would say that? What writer wouldn't KILL to write On The Road or To Kill a Mockingbird? Fucking ridiculous.

I think young people have plenty enough life experience to write great literature. Do they think we're blind and deaf until the age of 40? We see the world changing right now, scary shit happening, we have school days and family issues, young love and new experiences. If anything being young is the best time to write. It's so fresh, you can write to your own peer group without patronising them, your readers will relate, rather than a has been middle aged loser guessing at what it feels like to be living life at 22 in 2008.

No, fuck university courses. I want to join a writers' workshop, read stuff outloud and hear the bad stuff about what I'm doing wrong. I want to go to poetry slams and read the bad and the good poetry, and watch other people who have the same heart for it all.

This is my resolution, I'm going to change my life, fuck it all and just write whatever I feel like whenever I can.

Anyone else have any thoughts on the writing process, any blocks or struggles? Anyone else need to write to be happy?

Thanks to anyone who reads, it really makes me feel good. Notify me of your blogs, I'd love to be reading other people's thoughts and learn about their quirky lives.

I'm done,

Amii
xxxx

Dear reader,

I am, or was, a verocious reader.

I have not got half way through a book since starting work in January; low pay retail nonsense, the real culprit being a three month stint in Primark, on a customer service desk.
I needed the job desperately, and so I took it, at £5.62 an hour and very low self esteem. I hated the uniform, the whole white shirt black trousers debacle, which made me feel out of placeand heightened my anxiety problems to the point I had to cry every lunch time. The worst part of all this, where they stuck me, was the customer service desk.

Some of those people who come return things are looking for nothing more than to abuse someone in a position in which they cannot possibly defend themselves. It is my honest to God opinion that society never looks bleaker than when viewed from behing a till bank.

I am of slightly above average intelligence. The customers that abused me were not; they were far far below. Some members of staff I considered bullies. Though we must take into account at this point that I am an extremely sensitive soul and what merely riles other people up slowly crushes me until I walk out of my job and never come back.

When I left Primark I was already teatering right on the edge of some minor nervous breakdown, having been yelled at, called stupid and had eyes rolled at me for too long. But it really comes to something when a customer physically abuses you; all FUCKS and BITCH, and throwing clothes and hangers at you over such a trivial thing as not being allowed to change in the children's changing room.

It makes it worse when managers are watching from afar, sniggering, with no intention of telling said bitch to move her low class behind out of the store.

This here, the walking out mid shift shaking with rage and embarrassment, is where I started to feel really afraid.

How many of us act like that to staff? And how many of us consider what problems that member of staff might be having?

I was immediatly employed by a call centre for Tesco in Cardiff; wonderful staff (on the whole) better pay, better treatment and easier work. My mood lifted; I felt secure and enjoyed going to work every day. Not the getting up and leaving for work, but the task at hand.

Eventually though, you realise that whether they are right in front of you on a counter being rude or even aggressive, or whether they are on the phone asking you the most ridiculous questions (people are so lazy, so uninformed) customers are made up of about 95% horrible people. They can't be bothered to be polite, they too are out to abuse someone down the phone, someone they don't even know and don't give a shit about.

I'm a customer, and I'm a nice cutomer. I stick to company policies about returns and don't kick up a stink if my receipt is out of date. I don't call Abbey National call centres and abuse that person on the end of the phone because Abbey have made grave errors with my account that affect every aspect of my life...because it isn't THEIR fault.

What scares me is how rude people are, how they simply don't give a flying fuck about anybody anymore.

The other day at work when I came in after two days sick still feeling absolutely awful, I had become a beat up sack for all those miserable people calling first thing in the morning, in a bad mood, just wanting to patronise and belittle me.

And I realised that by now I just feel dehumanised. I feel awful. I started crying then, uncontrollably, until I got sent home.

I have suffered serious depression in the past, with half hearted attempts to end my own life and extreme self abuse, and I can feel it coming again.

If only people were nice to one another, that would be all it takes.

When I'm in work I work hard. I take hundreds of calls a day and I meet all my objectives and I really try to always get everything sorted out for every customer, no matter how abusive and mean they are. But it really hurts to be treated like shit after every beep allerting me with a new call coming through.

I think then about all the attacks that happen; what sticks in my mind is the attack on the goth recently, where she was kicked to death by a group of stranger and maniacs, for no reason. It terrifies me. Like the world is going mad, and everyone is pumped full of pure hate and aggression and selfishness.

I write about this now as the only book I have read recently is Jack Ketchem - The Girl Next Door, and his authors note discussed what scares him most, and the people who scare him most are the Ted Bundys of the world, and what scares him pisses him off too.

I'm pissed off.I'm pissed off that people can't just be polite to one another, it pisses me off that people attack and kill and rape strangers, because they just don't give a fuck about that person.

I wish I could change the worl in just that one way. Those goups of teenagers who hang around on corners or outside shops, just being threatning and shouting degrading remarks at passers by. The kind of remarks that leave me crushed when I felt so good ten minutes ago. Why are people like this now? And can't anybody do anything about it? At all?

I would ask that anyone who falls upon this blog would please, please just be nice to the people who serve you in stores, or in call centres, or just anywhere. I just like imagining a day at work where everyone is polite and kind and patient, and realise that we wouldn't be doing those jobs unless we absolutely had to, and some of us are pretty depressed about it too.

This was a cheesy blog, the next one won't be, please read the next one.

I also highly reccommened The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchem. I never read a horror book before as I am a literary snob, but it was just really gripping and I loved his writing style, and the techniques he used to stop it from becoming gorenography/toture porn. Unsettling, twas.

Russel Brand's podcast was excelent as usual this week and I'll be updating a nice light hearted TV blog in a few days.

Thanks if you read this,
do add me.

Amii